Part 1: Decoding Anxiety - Understanding the Silent Struggle

In conversations with patients—or even in personal encounters—it's not uncommon to hear people reject the idea that they’re experiencing anxiety. Responses like, “I don’t have anxiety; I’m just stressed,” or “I’m just worried,” are common. Sometimes, when I ask questions like, “What is the fear telling you?” or “How do you feel unsafe?” the reply might be, “I’m not afraid; I’m just nervous.”

This confusion stems from a variety of reasons. One contributing factor is the stigma surrounding mental health, which can create a bias against acknowledging anxiety. Additionally, I often encounter situations where someone resists labeling their feelings as anxiety because of comparisons to others. For instance, a patient might downplay their fear of social situations—characterized by sweaty palms, increased body temperature, and shallow breathing—by calling it “nerves.” This distinction allows them to separate their experience from that of a loved one who suffers from intense anxiety or panic attacks, which might include hyperventilation and a fear of dying for no apparent reason.

Other factors may include a simple misunderstanding related to environmental conditioning. So let’s talk about it.

What Is Anxiety?

Ultimately, terms like stress, nerves, overwhelm, worry, terror, or panic all share a common thread: they stem from a fear of something that feels out of control.

At their core, they are future-focused thoughts that trigger a fear of danger or a loss of control over a situation. Recognizing this shared foundation can help us understand and address these emotions more effectively.

When working with patients who experience panic attacks, I’ll ask, “Do you know what triggered the panic attack?” More often than not, the response is something like, “No, it wasn’t triggered by anything—it just came out of nowhere.” While this response isn’t entirely false, it doesn’t tell the whole story.

Panic attacks are intense, sudden episodes of anxiety that seem to arise without warning.

They can be particularly debilitating. Although these attacks typically last only a few minutes, to the person experiencing them, those minutes feel endless—as if something catastrophic is happening, or worse, as though they’re about to die.

Anxiety attacks, while similar, usually have a more gradual onset.

A person might experience heightened anxiety for hours, days, or even weeks, feeling the pressure build until it culminates in a full activation of the fight-or-flight response.

Then we have your basic anxiety. You may not have ever experienced a panic or anxiety “attack,” but you have felt anxiety to some degree. We all have. It’s a normal human emotion that serves a purpose like all of our feelings.

Let me explain this in the way I would during a session, based on my knowledge of the topic. While I won’t cite research here, I’ll include some resources at the end if you’d like to explore the science further—it’s truly fascinating.

The Science of Panic and Anxiety Responses

When a panic or anxiety attack occurs, your brain receives a signal that the worst-case scenario is either happening or imminent. In response, it mobilizes all your resources to focus on survival. During these moments, your body temporarily shuts down all non-essential functions, such as:

• Digestion

• Reproductive processes

• Tissue repair

• Hormone and growth production

Every ounce of energy is redirected to essential survival mechanisms, like:

• Increasing heart rate to pump oxygen to your muscles and brain

• Enhancing muscle strength and speed to help you escape perceived danger

• Sharpening focus to make split-second decisions

Non-urgent bodily functions—like digesting food or repairing cells—take a backseat in these moments because your body assumes those processes won’t help you survive the immediate threat.

A Visual Example

Imagine you’re walking down your neighborhood sidewalk, carrying multiple grocery bags, when a menacing dog (bear with me; I love dogs, but let’s go with this analogy) suddenly charges at you, growling and foaming at the mouth.

Your immediate response? You drop everything—groceries, phone, purse, drink—whatever is weighing you down, so you can focus solely on escaping. At that moment, survival is your only concern.

If you have high baseline anxiety, this kind of response happens frequently. For some people, it occurs daily or even multiple times a day. Even without a full-blown panic attack, constant anxiety—whether you call it nervousness, worry, or stress—triggers the stress response to some degree.

The Aftermath

Now imagine you’ve made it home safely from the dog encounter. You’re physically unharmed, but now you’re dealing with the mess:

• Your groceries are ruined

• Your phone might be broken

• You have to freeze your credit cards without your phone

It’s a chaotic, exhausting process to pick up the pieces.

This happens inside your body and brain as they work to re-regulate your nervous system and restore normal functioning.

Now, imagine the dog appears again the next day. And the day after that. Every time, you’re forced to drop everything, run, and go through the same recovery process. Over time, this constant activation of your stress response takes a toll.

By this point, your stress response may have become overly active, leading you to experience fear more frequently—even in the absence of actual danger. This heightened response is common in individuals with PTSD or a history of extensive trauma, such as childhood abuse, neglect, or violence in an intimate partner relationship.

Triggers

After the first encounter with the dog, you might feel a bit apprehensive when turning the corner onto your street. You’re more vigilant, scanning for any signs of danger. A trigger is beginning to form—your brain is starting to associate that particular walk with the threat of the dog.

By the second encounter, this association strengthens. That corner, that sidewalk, and even the idea of walking down your street are now tied to a sense of fear and danger. The trigger has become more deeply ingrained, and your anxiety spikes as soon as you approach the area.

By the third time, the fear extends beyond your neighborhood. Now, any sidewalk or dog, no matter how friendly, feels threatening. This fear starts to limit your life. You avoid places you would normally go, worried about encountering another “dangerous” situation.

As a result, your world begins to shrink.

You’re spending less time outdoors, getting less fresh air and sunlight. You’re withdrawing from friends and family because attending social events or outings means risking an encounter with a dog. Your anxiety has begun to interfere with your daily life, creating a cycle that can feel impossible to break.

This Is Now a Problem

Your body wasn’t designed to have its stress response activated every day. It’s meant to be a short-term, emergency mechanism—not a daily occurrence. Chronic activation of this system wears down both your body and mind, contributing to or exacerbating numerous health issues such as gastrointestinal problems, infertility, sexual dysfunction, cardiovascular issues, premature aging, and more.

Recognizing and addressing anxiety is essential to breaking this cycle. By understanding how anxiety works, you can begin taking steps to reduce its frequency and intensity, fostering a healthier, more balanced life.

Different Types of Anxiety

Physical Danger

When we think of fear, we often associate it with physical danger—falling, getting injured, being in a car accident, or even life-threatening situations like encountering a serial killer (the classic example of extreme danger). However, anxiety doesn’t only respond to physical threats. It can arise from other fears that trigger the same stress response, including emotional, social, financial, and existential concerns.

Here are some common examples of anxieties:

• Social Anxiety: Fear of being disliked or judged, leading to feelings of emotional vulnerability.
• Fear of Rejection: Concerns about being unaccepted in dating or social circles.
• Financial Anxiety: Worries about maintaining a stable lifestyle or acquiring necessary resources, such as fears of job insecurity or financial instability.
• Phobias: Specific fears, such as spiders, clowns, or certain patterns (e.g., honeycombs).
• Sexual Anxiety: Fears related to body image, performance, or even the act of sex itself. Triggers can include negative past experiences, extreme cultural or religious pressures, or an unhealthy sexual relationship.
• Intellectual Insecurities: Anxiety tied to academic performance, perceived intelligence, or early experiences with learning disabilities.
• Moral Anxiety: Feelings of guilt or shame, such as “I did something bad, so I must be bad,” or fears of divine punishment.
• Fear of Failure: Worry that trying new things or pursuing goals might lead to failure, holding people back from their potential.
• Emotional Insecurities: Fear of opening up or vulnerability. Uncertainty of emotional needs, feelings or self worth. 

Ways to Manage Anxiety

Redirect Your Focus to What You Can Control
Shift your attention from things outside your control to things within it. This reframing helps you reclaim a sense of power and confidence, reducing feelings of helplessness and fear.

Identify and Rewire Your Stress Triggers
To manage anxiety, you first need to know what triggers it. While some triggers are obvious, others—especially those causing panic attacks—can be harder to pinpoint.

Every feeling starts with a thought, and every thought originates from a trigger. This could be a sound, smell, memory, person, time of year, or even a fleeting thought that sparks another.

To identify triggers, mentally retrace your steps, much like looking for lost car keys. As soon as you notice the feeling, work backward through your thoughts and environment to uncover the source.

Pre-Emptive Strategies

Once you know your triggers, take proactive steps to reduce their impact:

• Reach out to your support network before a triggering event and make a plan (e.g., holidays).
• Prioritize rest, proper nutrition and exercise before high-stress situations, like presentations at work.

Practice Grounding Techniques
Mindfulness and grounding help anchor you in the present moment, where anxiety cannot dominate. Techniques like deep breathing, yoga, or meditation are powerful tools to reduce stress.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
Work with a therapist to identify and reframe unhelpful thought patterns. CBT is particularly effective for managing anxiety and rewiring negative mental habits.

Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP)
ERP is commonly used to address phobias or OCD. This involves gradual, controlled exposure to feared stimuli in small, manageable doses to desensitize your response over time.

Healthy Outlets for Stress
Regular exercise, participation in group activities, or hobbies can help reduce anxiety. Physical activity releases endorphins and relieves built-up tension, while socializing and engaging in enjoyable activities provide positive distractions.

Closing Thoughts

Anxiety impacts everyone to some degree, and its intensity may vary during different periods of life. While it’s important to acknowledge your feelings and avoid dismissing them, balance is key. Anxiety’s purpose is to keep you safe—not to stop you from living life to the fullest.

In today’s world, we’re often bombarded with messages that tell us we’re unsafe. But if you pause and look in the mirror, you’ll see someone who is alive, breathing, and okay. Right now, in this moment, you are safe. Most of the threats you worry about are unlikely to happen.

By taking proactive steps, you can reduce anxiety’s grip and restore peace to your mind and body.

If you want to learn more about coping with anxiety, be sure to come back for part two of this series. We'll dive deeper into tools and approaches for effectively managing anxiety, plus you'll have access to a free downloadable worksheet to help assess and cope.

I wish you well on your journey 💛

Cristina Chinchilla, LCSW
Therapist at Untamed Journey
President of Phoenix Rise Initiative, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit to end human trafficking

Educational Resources on Anxiety and Stress

Videos and Documentaries

1. Stress, Portrait of a Killer (2008)
   Available on YouTube.
   Description: A powerful documentary exploring the science behind stress and its impact on our physical and mental health.

2. Childhood Trauma and the Brain
   Produced by the UK Trauma Council.
   Available on YouTube.
   Description: An educational video explaining how early trauma affects brain development and behavior.

Articles and Guides

3. Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA)
   Website: adaa.org
   Description: A trusted source for information on anxiety disorders, depression, and related mental health conditions.

4. Mind: Understanding Anxiety and Panic Attacks
   Website: mind.org.uk
   Description: A comprehensive guide on anxiety, its symptoms, and practical tips for managing it.

Books

5. The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook by Edmund J. Bourne
   Description: A practical workbook offering strategies to help manage anxiety, phobias, and related conditions.

6. Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy by David D. Burns, M.D.
   Description: A groundbreaking book that introduces cognitive-behavioral techniques to combat depression and anxiety.

7. Why Zebras Don’t Get Ulcers by Robert M. Sapolsky
   Description: An engaging book that examines the effects of stress on the body and how to manage it effectively.

Tools and Apps

8. Calm
   Website: calm.com
   Description: A popular app for guided meditations, relaxation exercises, and sleep stories to help manage stress and anxiety.

9. Headspace
   Website: headspace.com
   Description: A user-friendly app for mindfulness and meditation, tailored for beginners and experienced users alike.

Support Networks

10. National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI)
    Website: nami.org
    Description: Provides support groups, resources, and education for individuals experiencing mental health challenges