An Ode to Friendship: The Love We Often Overlook

When we think about love in February, our minds often go straight to romantic relationships. But love exists in many forms, and one of the most enduring and transformative is the love we share with our friends.

Friendship love is often overlooked in conversations about love, yet it is one of the purest, most consistent, and most fulfilling connections we experience. So, as we wrap up our February season of love series, it feels only fitting to celebrate the beautiful and profound love we share with our friends.

The Unique Strength of Friendship Love

I recently had a conversation with a friend—one of my newer friendships, but one that quickly turned into a great connection. In the year and a half that we’ve known each other, we’ve shared countless laughs, supported each other through heartache, and made lifelong memories—all in what feels like such a short time.

As we talked about life, I found myself reflecting on how deeply I feel understood in my friendships. There’s something special about the love we develop with friends—something free from the complexities that can come with other relationships. There’s no need to navigate expectations or unspoken pressures; the foundation is simply shared experiences, and mutual support.

Friendship love is its own kind of magic. It shows up in the way a friend just gets you without explanation, the comfort of knowing you have someone who will show up for you, and the way laughter with a true friend can feel like the purest kind of joy.

Unlike other forms of love, which may ebb and flow, friendship love thrives in its steadiness. It doesn’t demand constant attention; it simply exists through life’s highs and lows.

As we close out this season of love, let’s take a moment to appreciate the friendships that have shaped us, supported us, and made life richer. Because friendship love isn’t just important, It’s essential.

The Science of Friendship and Well-Being

Studies show that strong friendships contribute significantly to mental health, emotional resilience, and even longevity. Having close friends reduces stress, lowers anxiety, and provides a sense of belonging that is crucial for overall well-being. In many ways, the love found in friendships can be just as, if not more, impactful than romantic love in fostering a fulfilling life.

Research has consistently shown that strong friendships are vital for mental health and overall well-being. For instance, a study highlighted by the American Psychological Association indicates that stable, healthy friendships are crucial for our well-being and longevity.
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Additionally, research from the Mayo Clinic outlines several benefits of friendships, including:
Increased sense of belonging and purpose
Boosted happiness and reduced stress
Improved self-confidence and self-worth
Support during challenging times
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These findings underscore the profound impact that meaningful friendships have on our mental and emotional health.

Nurturing the Love of Friendship

As we grow older, friendships often take a backseat to careers, family, and other responsibilities. However, like any other form of love, friendship requires care and intention.

I’ll be the first to admit that I haven’t always prioritized my friendships as much as I have other relationships—with family, work, or intimate partners. But, like anything meaningful in life, friendships require effort in order to grow and evolve.

"A strong social and support network is a key component of overall well-being, providing balance and connection in ways that other relationships may not."

In sessions, I often hear statements like, “I’m an introvert,” “I don’t want to deal with people,” or, even worse, “You can’t trust friends these days—they’ll just stab you in the back.”

There are many reasons people shy away from cultivating deep friendships, and in some cases, those reasons may feel valid. However, completely avoiding friendships or refusing to prioritize them is often a sign of imbalance or an unhealthy mental state.

Of course, there may be times in life when we are hyper-focused on a goal or navigating a personal struggle, but adopting the mindset that friendships aren’t necessary? That’s a red flag.

This isn’t to say that friendships won’t come with disappointment.

"At some point, every person in your life will let you down in some way—it’s simply part of being human."

The key is to consider three things:

1. The intention behind the hurt

2. A willingness to acknowledge it

3. A willingness to work toward change.

In reality, this applies to all relationships, not just friendships.

That said, you are never absolved of the responsibility of having—you guessed it—boundaries! (My favorite word.) Just like in romantic or family relationships, boundaries in friendships are essential to maintaining healthy dynamics.

And yes, sometimes friendships end. A deep friendship can fracture in ways that feel uniquely painful, leaving behind the kind of heartbreak that makes you hesitant to let anyone in again. I haven’t had many friendship breakups, but the ones I have experienced stung in a way that left me saying, “Oof, that one hurt.”

But as the saying goes,

“A ship is safe at shore, but that is not what it is made for.”

You can protect yourself from being hurt by keeping others at a distance, but in doing so, you also miss out on the richness, depth, and meaning that true friendships bring to life.

A Love That Stands the Test of Time

Romantic relationships may come and go, but the love between true friends often withstands the test of time. In moments of celebration and moments of struggle, it is friendship love that provides a steady, unwavering presence. This February, as we celebrate love in all its forms, let’s take a moment to appreciate and nurture the friendships that have shaped us, supported us, and brought joy into our lives.

Because love isn’t just about romance—it’s about connection, loyalty, and the people who share in the journey with us.

Cristina Chinchilla, LCSW